The Charism of Raising Babies

 

“Remind yourself of this constantly and strongly establish this truth in your spirit and in your heart that the best way, and even the infallible way, of being in continual prayer is to keep one’s soul at peace before the Lord.” Venerable Father Francois-Marie-Paul Libermann

Before having children of my own, I had heard all the complaints that parents who had come before me had about taking care of newborns. The sleep deprivation, the constant crying, the utter delirium that takes hold. What I had heard less often, quite rarely in fact, was the way love can pervade the monotonous routine when you stop thinking about yourself, and how you can fully experience the present moment, and fully delight in it, despite the trials that persist.

Each of us are called to practice different charisms. Though I have unique talents and skills, I know that I am also called to the same ministry to which we are all called: to love and serve. Wherever I am, whoever I’m with, I am being called, moment by moment, to love. Whether I am with my children, at work, or sitting alone on a crowded train, I am called to love, in whatever way I can.

This charism to continually love was simple enough before having children, but the demands of parenthood caused me to be resentful at times. I had my first child towards the end of law school and took on more than I could handle. While I was still able to bond with baby X, it wasn’t the experience it should have been. Eight months later, we were expecting baby T, who provided a blessed change to our lives. Through her gentle and calm demeanor, I felt healed of the negative experience I had after X was born. She also gave X a much needed distraction and somehow, having two kids felt easier than having one.

The next four years were a time of growth. We the parents felt the full range of emotions from blissful joy to sorrow to maddening stress. Having one boy and one girl did present the appeal of “being done,” but we didn’t feel done. So on May 13, 2021, baby M came. This is where I think I finally felt the true charism of raising a baby. I’m not sure why or how it suddenly clicked, but when I get up in the middle of the night for her, I don’t feel inconvenienced (most of the time). I don’t feel resentful towards my husband who seems to have the easier lot (and who wakes up at 3:40am everyday).

I just see the missionary field that I am currently in. I pick her up and I see such purity in her eyes. I know I am doing the corporal works of mercy through taking care of her: feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, giving drink to the thirsty, and helping the sick. And the reward greatly outweighs the burden. The reward is baby M.

All loving and all forgiving, she is the Jesus I can hold.

Now, when I hear one of my children interrupt me, I try to remember the words Jesus spoke when he was wearied by His work, and trying to be alone for a moment, was followed by His disciples and many others who sought His help: “For this purpose I have come.” Mark 1:38.

Even when I am wearied by life, and feel like I have already given so much, that’s when I have to give more, and keep on giving until the end. I know I can’t pour from an empty cup, but the beauty of a charism is that every moment is grace-filled. By giving, I receive, grace upon grace. By loving those around me in the small, monotonous tasks, I am loving Christ, and I am reflecting Christ to them. That in itself is a prayer, which fills my cup, so that it may be poured out again.